Archive for the ‘Dem Children’ Category

Dem Children!

All Dem Child-lum

Mrs. Jones walked into a bright, beautifully decorated kindergarten classroom with the principal. Their regular teacher was out with the flu and her doctor told her she would be out for at least two weeks. They had another substitute teacher earlier that morning but she exited suddenly and told the principal never call her again.
A group of sensitive, well behaved five year olds sat tranquilly there to greet her. Mrs. Jones thought to herself; I’m a short thin person, however, I’m taller than anyone else in the class. How hard can this be? The principal told her: This is your class. It is 10:45 a.m. They go to lunch at 11:00 a.m. This is good! By the time you put up your things it will time to line them up, take them to the restroom, after that you can take them to lunch. See you at lunch! Bye-by kids. They all sweetly said bye-by Mr. James. With that he said: Bye-by Mrs. Jones. See you at Lunch! He walked away and closed the door. Then he did an unconventional thing. The principal came back and locked the door. Mrs. Jones yelled: Mr. James! Mr. James! It’s against the law to lock school doors in case of fire! Mr. James said: Oh yes, yes, thank you. That was very insightful of you to remember that. I thoughtlessly thought I was locking the front door of the school. We have permission to lock all of our doors to the outside. We have metal detectors to protect our children. Even so said Mrs. Jones, the doors can be open from the inside in case of fire. You locked the door so neither I nor the children could get out. Mr. James unlocked the door. He told her the lesson plans were on the desk. Then sheepishly said with a peculiar grin, toot-a-Lou.
Mrs. Jones cautiously walked to the teacher’s desk with her belongings. She brought with her an activity book for grades k-three, sixty coloring sheets and a guitar in a guitar case so they could sing songs after nap time. A little boy at the first table asked what was in the guitar case. Mrs. Jones replied: a guitar of course. The class asked Mrs. Jones to play the guitar and sing them a song. Mrs. Jones said no. It was time to go to the restroom and line up for lunch. Mrs. Jones promised them a song after lunch.
Lunch went well until one little boy started a fight because he wanted the cinnamon roll another kid brought from home. He threatens to stab the other kid with his fork if he didn’t give him the cinnamon roll. Mrs. Jones took the fork and told the bully to take his tray up. The bully told Mrs. Jones he had not finished. Mrs. Jones told him: I do not see any more food. What do you intend to do? Eat the tray? Insolently the bully took the tray up. Mrs. Jones looked in her pocket book, found some loose change and bought the bully ice cream. The other teachers said she should have sent the bully to the office. She said perhaps. Then again, he may never get a treat at home.
The day had gone fairly well for Mrs. Jones. The only glitches had been with the principal the first thing that morning and the little riff raff in the lunch room.
After lunch they went to play. After play they went to the school’s Library and after the Library they took a nap.
Soon it would be time for parents to come pick them up. She thought all is well that ends well. A little girl at the second table reminded her she had promised them a song that morning. Mrs. Jones said: Oak, but you will have to sing with me. We will sing Three Blind Mice. Mrs. Jones began to strum and sing “THREE BLIND MICE”. Another little girl at the same table started to cry. Mrs. Jones stopped playing and asked the little girl what was making her cry? She said the mean old farmer’s wife made her cry. The little girl asked why she had to cut off their tails with a carving knife. The class bully stood up and said he had never heard anything more disgusting in all of his five years of life. At that time all of the little girls began to cry. Mr. James walked by, saw the class in an uproar about the Three Blind Mice and all of the little girls crying. He entered the room and asked Mrs. Jones: What have you done to these children?
Mrs. Jones told Mr. James I will answer your question shortly but first I have to let the children know something. Mrs. Jones explained to the children the Three Blind Mice was just a nursery rhyme. There were no real three blind mice. The farmer’s wife was fictional too. The girls stopped crying. Mrs. Jones was relieved. She did not want the parents to come pick up crying children. Mr. James suggested they sing Mary Had a Little Lamb. Everybody loves lambs. There could be no distresses there. Mrs. Jones and the kindergarten class sang Mary Had A Little Lamb. One little girl raised her hand. Principal James asked: What do you need Sweetie? The little girl said: My Grandmother and Grandfather have a farm. They have one lamb and lots of goats. I wouldn’t want to ask them if I could bring their only little lamb to school. Could I bring a goat for show and tell? First, Mr. James cleared his throat. Then, he looked at Mrs. Jones and said I will let you handle that. Mrs. Jones said, oh no you will not. I’m just a substitute teacher. I made the children cry. You don’t want me to come anymore. Mr. James begged. I have been presented sixteen substitute teachers in three days. Please stay. Their teacher is out for two weeks. I cannot bear staying up all night looking for another substitute teacher. All of the other substitute teachers have my office full of children by 10: 00 a.m. Please don’t go!
Mrs. Jones looked at the little girl who had asked the question about the goat. She told her to wait until her regular teacher came back to share that wonderful idea. In the meanwhile, talk it over with her grandparents and see what they had to say. A thousand pounds of relief was lifted off of Mr. James face.
He then looks at Mrs. Jones and asked: Does this mean you are staying?
Mrs. Jones sighed and said: I’ll think about it.