Archive for the ‘Fifty Shades of What?’ Category

Fifty Shades of What?

Fifty Shades of What?f
I am always behind the times. My son that was killed in an auto accident would tell me; “Mom, give up! You will never catch up with the times.” He was most likely right. I have a friend who asked me if I saw the new movie, Fifty Shades of Grey. I told her no I had not seen it. She asked then, had I read the book. Again I had to reply no. She informed me if ever I was walking thru Books-A-Million or any other Book Store, don’t pick it up. I asked her why. I’ve seen the trailers and the author was on the 700 Club telling Christian Women to read Fifty Shades of Grey. She asks Christian Women to read it with their husbands. And there lies the complicatedness. I can’t read Fifty Shades of Grey with my husband unless I go out to the cemetery and dig him up.
My friend, who is also a widow, told me she read the book. While reading the book, she got a little steamy; she thought she needed a cold shower. After her cold shower she was ok for a minute. Then uh oh, uh oh she needed another cold shower. At that time she said to herself; I have the perfect cure for that, I’ll read my Bible. She felt ok for a moment; uh oh, uh oh, then she thought she needed to emerge herself in the word. That afternoon she had bible study with the ladies in her study group. The leader asked if any of the ladies had a good book they would like to share. My friend shared Fifty Shades of Grey. Uh oh, uh oh, all of the ladies sat quietly until she finished sharing. By that time, the leader’s husband came home. Being a polite man, he always gave the ladies a little kiss on the cheek. Uh oh, uh oh, in spite of their  long time friendship she told her husband it was ok to give the other ladies a kiss but he had better not kiss her. She told me; with that, she looked at her longtime friend and she knew her friend was not kidding. Uh oh, uh oh, that book was like the box on the beach.
You know the story of the man that was walking down the beach one bright and sunny day. He saw a great big wooden box a floating down the bay. He stopped and picked it up and much to his surprise. He discovered an uh oh, uh oh, right before his eyes. He picked it up and ran to town as happy as a king. He would take it to a fellow he knew would buy most anything. But, when he tried to take the box inside, his friend hollered at him, “Get out of here with that uh oh, uh oh before I call the cops!” He turned around and got right out a running for his life, he decided to take it home with him and show it to his wife. He walked into the house and this is what she screamed at him; “Get out of here with that uh oh, uh oh and don’t come back no more, The poor man wondered all around the town until he chance to meet, a hobo who was looking for a handout on the street. He said he was a desperate man he would take most anything. But, when he showed him that uh oh, uh oh he turned around and ran. For years the man wonders around the world, a victim of his days until he came upon Saint Peter at the gates. But, when he tried to take it inside, Saint Peter bellowed at him, “Get out of here with that Uh oh, uh oh and take it down below!” The moral of that story is if you are out on the beach. If you see a wooden box a floating at your reach. Don’t ever stop to pick it up. That is my advice to you. You will never get rid of that Uh oh uh, oh no matter what you do.
I suppose what I’m trying to say, don’t read Fifty Shades of Grey unless you have a partner to share it with. I think I’ll just wait until the sequel comes out, Twenty-five Shades of Black, uh oh, uh oh.